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07262025 0106

waterfall update: we actually went! i wasnt sure itd happen heheh thought someone might cancel or itd just die off cuz idk.... but we actually went. & it was good. weirdly good. soft, chaotic and a little tiring but good. thic technically happened yesterday since its already 1am but who gives a fuck about tooday or yesterdsyyy!

morning was scattered. two of us left first to go pick up the car and ate on the way. the rest of us (me included) stayed back at our colleg and got hungry waiting, so we ended up going to our usual mamak. four of us sat there with roti canai + iced drinks, letting the day start slow. the receipt said 333. felt like a sign. like bladee whispering “everything will be ok” through the oily air.

we crammed all six of us into the five-seater and hoped for the best.loved it more than expected. the ride there was so bouncy. like the whole car was a drum. i felt like a soda can. or maybe like a bug in a speaker. idk it was funny and good and loud and we kept laughing for no reason. the song’s fault tbh. we were blasting dangdut, screaming at nothing. skipped the plan to stop for food. didn’t even feel like we missed it.

we reached the waterfall around 2. the water was not so clear & loud & cold. and so many rocks and people.but not much grass… i wanted to roll in mud or something but the terrain said no. rbut who really gives fuckkkk i love this except friend told me there were some old uncles staring so it ruined the freedom a bit. #ugh kept adjusting my clothes, wishing i didn’t have to care, but whatever. #fuckthemall theyd probably stare at a rock and still feel something.

the toilet was a horror movie. DARK. the door of the ccubicle i was in had like 2 big holes. like you could definitely fit your whole head through one of them. i just covered it with my shirt lol. no lock. door was wobbly. i used my towel to jam it tighter. and i had tumblr scrolling flashbacks and thought of spycams but wtv maybe not. just like. of course this is how it is. sungai girl era.

we dried off + changed, we headed to a nearby mall. everyone was hungry again. i let them pick and we ended up at chicken rice shop. i dont really like the chicken there. but i LOVE the rice. win win for me tbh. got only the rice so i felt #prudent . rm3+. funny how that was cheaper than the iced filled drink i got after. rm10 thai tea from chatramue, but its fine. i def deserve it. also got some donuts from big apple. alien my forever fav. the other one i chose just on instinct. couldnt remember what else i used to like. & sincee i only spent rm3 on ricee i felt like o saved a billion so i decided thst my ffrirends deserve donuts too. then we headout to where the car was parked. not sunset yet, just that in-between lighting that makes everything feel suspended.

arrived college around 9. it felt late but the night hadn’t even started. as we arrived, others are just leaving. instant #fomo. so we left again.

first stop: sunshine. my friend needed zus. second stop: random food festival. i got chicken tenders and felt sooo satisfied. then 7e...found a cute cat n finally, we went home for real.

now i’m sitting here. clothes still soaking in a bucket, waiting to be scrubbed. the night’s not over. i need to shower, clean up, maybe play mobile legends if i have the energy. but for now. this is enough. lso im kind of scsred. what if something foloweed me bavk home...it is what it is i gues.................... bye?\

07252025 0108

2moro were supposed to take a dip at a waterfall. like. really. pls no cancelling, no mood swings, no last minute changes. i might actually go crazy if its cancelled..... pls. just water+friends+ sun + pretending its not exam week. im excited. but saying it outloud feels risky. like im jixing evrything ykno..

ok actually fuck being pessimistic. maybe itll just be nice. warm rocks.. grass.. fish.. idk what else but yeah. im excited. and so what if it gets cancelled.. maybe its something good n we can pplay ml and chill instead okay its ok.

but still tho. #hope noone bails. hope it doesnt rain. let me sit inwaater and chilllllllll PLEASe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

07242025 0139

Llately theres lke an empty acc viewing my stories on 8-follower insta. @uselessbolt47. private. no. posts. no pfp. 0 followers. not following anyone. just. blank. and watching. and like. idk. yeah its not a big deal . not weird too. just unsettling. bcs iddk who.

i dont even care that much . but i mean . okay maybe i do care. enough for it to linger. not bcs i think it means anything . not that. its just the not knowing. someones wathhing and i have no idea who they are?. and that makes it sit wrog. like something in corner is faccing u but u dont care enough to lift your head. but uvwoner. and think about it. yeeah ok #itsrllynotthatdeep

i jz wonder if its someone i know. or someone who like hates me. i get that feeling a lot. like people lowkey hate me but i can never actually think of who. just this vague cloud of maybe. maybe its no one. maybe its just a stranger. or some throwaway acc. or if like someone tapped by accident. but even then. its not unfair to me . theyv e seen it. they’ve seen me.

and idk anything about them. not a name. not even an emoji. nothing. it feels uneven. unfair. bcs i overshare so much. i talk abt what i eat. where i go. what keeps me up. what songs i loop at night. and theyre just… watching. no context. no trace. not real, but real enough to keep showing up.

what do u like. what kind of stuff makes u angry. what makes u feel like everythings wrong. do u miss someone. are u okay. are u just bored. are u just nobody. are u even there. idk. maybe it doesnt matter. but im still thinking abti= it. hmmmzzzzzzzzzzzz ok wwtv goodnight

07222025 0042

deleted my old websites content. it waas tmi. goodbye france hello paris !